Kyle Qualls – Medium

Kyle Qualls

Published in
The Journal Post Times

Mage Hurdles Pile of Dead Horses at Finish Line to Win Kentucky Derby

Louisville, KY — After an unusually dangerous buildup to Derby Day that saw seven horses die, Mage was able to leap over the mound of…

May 6, 2023

Mage Hurdles Pile of Dead Horses at Finish Line to Win Kentucky Derby

May 6, 2023

Published in
The Journal Post Times

SpaceX Rebrands as Crematorium

Hawthorne, CA — After their latest starship exploded minutes after launch, SpaceX has seamlessly pivoted their business model from space…

Apr 20, 2023

SpaceX Rebrands as Crematorium

Apr 20, 2023

Published in
The Journal Post Times

ChatGPT-4 Capable of Giving You a Little Kiss

Open AI has released ChatGPT-4, the latest version of their revolutionary chat bot, and it has some exciting new capabilities that older…

Mar 18, 2023

ChatGPT-4 Capable of Giving You a Little Kiss

Mar 18, 2023

Published in
The Journal Post Times

George Santos Excited to Celebrate His Heritage During Black History Month

Washington DC — Representative George Santos is looking forward to honoring his African-American heritage throughout Black History Month…

Feb 1, 2023

George Santos Excited to Celebrate His Heritage During Black History Month

Feb 1, 2023

Published in
The Journal Post Times

Unarmed Black Man Being Killed by Black Police Officers is a Sign of Tremendous Progress, Say…

Memphis, TN — Tyre Nichols, an unarmed Black man, being beaten to death by five Black police officers rather than racist white ones is a…

Jan 31, 2023

Unarmed Black Man Being Killed by Black Police Officers is a Sign of Tremendous Progress, Say…

Jan 31, 2023

Published in
The Journal Post Times

Man Wearing Camouflage to Movie Theater Not There to Shoot Up the Place

Providence, RI — A local man wearing camouflage to the movie theater has no intention of committing a mass shooting, authorities confirmed.

Dec 19, 2022

Man Wearing Camouflage to Movie Theater Not There to Shoot Up the Place

Dec 19, 2022

Published in
The Journal Post Times

Herschel Walker Asks Mitch McConnell to Tell Him About the Rabbits

Dallas, TX — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell met Herschel Walker at his Texas residence where Walker asked McConnell to tell him…

Dec 13, 2022

Herschel Walker Asks Mitch McConnell to Tell Him About the Rabbits

Dec 13, 2022

Published in
The Journal Post Times

Odell Beckham Jr. Trying to Join Cowboys But Can’t Because Jerry Jones is Blocking Entrance

Arlington, TX — Highly sought-after free agent wide receiver, Odell Beckham Jr., has reportedly chosen the Dallas Cowboys but is unable to…

Nov 30, 2022

Odell Beckham Jr. Trying to Join Cowboys But Can’t Because Jerry Jones is Blocking Entrance

Nov 30, 2022

Published in
The Journal Post Times

National Security Blunder!

Washington DC — President Biden pardoned two turkeys in keeping with Presidential Thanksgiving tradition. Unfortunately, he did not do his…

Nov 24, 2022

National Security Blunder!

Nov 24, 2022

Published in
The Journal Post Times

World Cup Observes 6,500 Moments of Silence for Construction Workers Who Died Building Stadiums

Al Khor, QA — Prior to the opening game of the 2022 World Cup between Qatar and Ecuador, the stadium observed 6,500 one-minute moments of…

Nov 20, 2022

World Cup Observes 6,500 Moments of Silence for Construction Workers Who Died Building Stadiums

Nov 20, 2022

Kyle Qualls

Kyle Qualls

Aspiring comedy writer featured on Points In Case and Funny-ish. He bets you’re not man enough to contact him at kyleaqualls@gmail.com with a job offer.

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