Gas is Free Now That Republicans Have Won the House
Washington DC — Just hours after the news broke that Republicans have won the House of Representatives, gas prices have dropped to $0.00 per gallon.
Inflation also ceased to exist the second that Republicans won the majority-clinching 218th seat.
Republican voters were thrilled to hear that they are getting a Congress that is making tangible improvements to their lives and not one that will spend the next two years focusing on frivolous bullshit.
“Thank God that a Republican majority in the house will block Biden’s ability to change gas prices whenever the urge strikes him using the dial on his desk,” said Clint Cohen, a voter in Lauren Boebert’s district.
Gas stations across the country have lines that are miles long as citizens are eager to load up, not only because it’s free, but because they feel safe enough to leave the house now that the crime rate has dropped to 0%.
Political commentators continue to be flabbergasted as to why Biden and the Democrats didn’t make gas free when they had the chance.
“Democrats are frankly lucky that they didn’t lose the Senate as well. I feel like making gas free would’ve earned a lot of good will from the voters but instead they chose to raise the price. You can’t help but scratch your head,” said Gloria Borger of CNN.
